17 Again

Everybody's always hatin'.

Yes, I've been made fun of a lot for saying things like, "Wow, Zac Efron turns out to be a really good actor!"

But he is. And 17 Again was a downright entertaining film. The cast was great, the writing was almost never dull, and the story was surprisingly satisfying.

I'll admit that this isn't the kind of movie I normally pay any attention to at all, but, well...I blogged recently about this person that always gives golden recommendations. Here's to another spot-on suggestion.

For a better review, go here.

And for a beautifully awesome video I just posted, go here.

On a parting note, I hope that you take a few seconds to click on the links in my posts. I try to make them pertinent and cool, for the edifying pleasure of all of my readers, so.... Anyway, just a thought.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

AAAAAHHAhahahahahahahaha...!!!

*gasp*

HhhhaahaHAAHAHAHAHhaahahaha

hahaha

HAA...

ha.

I wanted to write a review, I really did, but--pffffaahhahahahahahHAHAHAahahaHAHAHAHAHAahahahaHAHAHAHAhaahaaaaa...

*sigh*

K, just go read this: Roger Ebert's Review.

Knowing

I avoided Knowing because of Rotten Tomatoes. Well, turns out that lovely, useful aggregate of movie reviews isn't always lovely or useful.

Roger Ebert, on the other hand, is much more dependable. Not that I always agree with him, but he's not the fickle masses. He's an extremely intelligent critic--biased, unique, and personal. And, I often do agree with him. About a week ago, he posted a list of movies to which he gave 3 1/2 or 4 star reviews. Can you guess one of the films that received four stars from this particular critic?

His review was downright glowing. So, of course, I reconsidered. Watched it this past Saturday night.

I loved it. There were minor issues with the writing, but nothing too terrible. And there were some plot holes and assumptions that could have been annoying if I'd strained at them. But what dwarfed all of that was how incredibly ambitious this film was. This ambition that so impressed me manifested itself in two ways:

1) The story. This narrative was willing to go places and say things that I don't normally expect filmmakers to have the guts to go. It had BIG things to show, and it didn't pull punches. Any film that tackles the apocalypse, God, faith, and aliens all in the same text deserves at least a modicum of respect.

2) The special effects. This was a gorgeously shot film, and the bangs were sophisticated, thrilling, and moving. I was constantly surprised by where the really explosive effects were placed. It didn't open with some thrilling sequence, and never did the film rely on the bells and whistles of FX to arbitrarily spice up an inherently dull sequence. Nor were the grandest and most overwhelming sequences reserved for the climax, which was shocking. The story was finished before we got to see the stuff that probably took the longest for those industry computers to render--one of the most spectacular special effects sequences I've ever seen was reserved for the denouement. Ambitious and risky. Phew.

The performances were all better-than-necessary. We don't typically expect really profound acting from our crazy sci-fi thriller/disaster movies. But this one was a whole lot more emotionally spot-on than it should have been.

I guess I can best sum up my experience by saying I'm convinced once again that one of the most pleasant ways to receive a film is to go in with low expectations and be proven wrong on almost every point. So go ahead, read some of the reviews that caused Rotten Tomatoes to squeeze out a shameful 14% for this movie. Then go watch it. It's pretty grand.

Home Movies

Last night, I became reacquainted with Home Movies, one of the greatest achievements of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, which is something I haven't watched for years.

I borrowed the first season from a friend, but here, for your glorious viewing pleasure, is one of my favorite episodes from a later season. If you have twenty minutes, DEFINITELY watch the whole thing.

From an Iranian

What follows is important. I want to make reading the whole thing as easy as possible, so I'm going to paste it all below.

Here, also, are some important links.

- Photos of the protests and riots.

- A Washington Post article about Obama's reaction to the situation in Iran.

- An NY Times article on the frightening possibility of what's going on under the surface.

Now, from Tehran:

I left my home in Tajrish along with my family at 3 p.m. We went down Valiast Street which is the main northern-southern avenue in Tehran and entered the Evin Exp'way which leads to Enghelab Street. We knew that people are supposed to gather in Enghelab Sq. (Revolution Sq.) at 4 and march toward Azadi Sq. (Freedom Sq.). From Gisha Bridge onwards, we saw people walking down. Cars were blowing their horns and people were showing victory sign. We went to Navvab Street and parked our car at the end of the street. Then we took a taxi to bring us back to the Enghelab Street. On our way, near Jomhouri Sq. (Republic Sq.), I saw a group of about 20 militia with long beards and batons on motorbikes. My hand was out of the car window with a little green ribbon (the sign of reformists) around my finger. One of the militia told me to throw that ribbon away. I showed him a finger. All of a sudden, about 15 people attacked me inside the car. They beat me with their batons and wanted to pull me out. My wife and my daughter who were sitting in the back seat cried and hold me tight. I also hold myself tight on the chair. They wanted to shatter the car windows. The driver went out and explained that he is a taxi and we are his passengers and he has no fault. After about 5 minutes,they left. My elbow hurts severely. Then, a young man from their group came and kissed my elbow! I told him: You know, I don't hate you. I am like you with the only difference that I know more and you are ignorant. He apologized and left. We joined the crowd in Enghelab Street.

Read carefully: What I saw today was the most elegant scene I had ever witnessed in my life. The huge number of people were marching hand in hand in full peace. Silence. Silence was everywhere. There was no slogan. No violence. Hands were up in victory sign with green ribbons. People carried placards which read: Silence. Old and young, man and woman of all social groups were marching cheerfully. This was a magnificent show of solidarity. Enghelab Street which is the widest avenue in Tehran was full of people. I was told that the march has begun in Ferdowsi Sq. and the end of the march was now in Imam Hossein Sq. to the further east of Tehran while on the other end people had already gathered in Azadi Sq. The length of this street is about 6 kilometers. The estimate is about 2 million people. On the way, we passed a police department and a militia (Baseej) base. In both places, the doors were closed and we could see fully-armed riot police and militia watching the people from behind the fences. Near Sharif University of Technology where the students had chased away Ahmadinejad a few days ago, Mirhossein Mousavi (the reformist elect president) and Karrubi (the other reformist candidate spoke to people for a few minutes which was received by cries of praise and applause. I felt proud to find myself among such a huge number of passionate people who were showing the most reasonable act of protest. Frankly, I didn't expect such a political maturity from emotional Iranians who easily get excited. My family and I had put stickers on our mouths to represent the suppression. Placards that people carried were different; from poems by the national poet Ahmad Shamlu to light-hearted slogans against Ahmadinejad. Examples include: " To slaughter us/ why did you need to invite us / to such an elegant party" (Poem by Shamlu). " Hello! Hello! 999? / Our votes were stolen" or " The Miracle of the Third Millenium: 2 x 2 = 24 millions" (alluding to the claim by Government that Ahmadinejad obtained 24 million votes) , "Where is my vote?" , " Give me back my vote" and many other. We arrived in Azadi Square where the entire square was full of population. It is said that around 500,000 people can be accommodated in this huge square and it was full. Suddenly we saw smoke from Jenah Freeway and heard the gunshot. People were scared at first but then went forward. I just heard the gunshots but my sister who had been on the scene at that part told me later that she saw 4 militia came out from a house and shot a girl. Then they shot a young boy in his eye and the bullet came out of his ear. She said that 4 people were shot. At least one person dead has been confirmed. People arrested one of the Baseeji militia but the three others ran away when they ran out of bullet. At around 8 we went back on foot. On the way back people were still in the street and were chanting Allah Akbar (God is Great). I was coming home at around 2 a.m. In parkway, I saw about ten buses full of armed riot police parked on the side of the street. Then I saw scattered militia in civil clothes with clubs in hand patroling the empty streets. In Tajrish Square, I saw a very young boy (around 16) with a club who was looking at the cars to see if he can find something to attack. I don't know how and under what teachings can young boys change into militia. I came home. Tomorrow, people will gather again in Valiasr Square for another peaceful march toward the IRIB building which controls all the media and which spreads filthy lies. The day before Yesterday, Ahmadinejad had hold his victory ceremony. Government buses had transported all his supporters from nearby cities. There was full coverage of that ceremony where fruit juice and cake was plenty. A maximum of 100,000 had gathered to hear his speech. These included all the militia and the soldiers and all supporters he could gather by the use of free TV publicity. Today, at least 2 million came only relying on word of mouth while reformists have no newspaper, no radio, no TV. All their internet sites are filtered as well as social networks such as facebook. Text messaging and mobile communication was also cut off during the demonstration. Since yesterday, the Iranian TV was announcing that there is no license for any gathering and riot police will severely punish anybody who may demonstrates. Ahmadinejad called the opposition as a bunch of insignificant dirt who try to make the taste of victory bitter to the nation. He also called the western leaders as a bunch of "filthy homosexuals". All these disgusting remarks was today answered by that largest demonstration ever. Older people compared the demonstration of today with the Ashura Demonstration of 1979 which marks the downfall of the Shah regime and even said that it outnumbered that event. The militia burnt a house themselves to find the excuse to commit violence. People neutralized their tactic to a large degree by their solidarity, their wisdom and their denial to engage in any violent act. I feel sad for the loss of those young girls and boys. It is said that they also killed 3 students last night in their attack at Tehran University residence halls. I heard that a number of professors of Sharif University and AmirKabir University (Tehran Polytechnic) have resigned. Democracy is a long way ahead. I may not be alive to see that day. With eyes full of tear in these early hours of Tuesday 16th June 2009, I glorify the courage and bravery of those martyrs and I hope that their blood will make every one of us more committed to freedom, to democracy and to human rights. Viva Freedom, Viva Democracy, Viva Iran

p.s.: If you find this report of any value, please share it with as many people as possible. Facebook is filtered and internet is very slow in Iran. Please somebody put this on facebook.

These are weighty days. Please pay attention. Please stay aware.

Iran Making History

You may not have heard quite yet. I'm sure you will.

Iran had its elections three days ago, on the 12th. The term "elections," here has an unfair connotation, because instead of letting the democratic process run its course, the sitting government staged a massive farce to keep Ahmadinejad and his crew in power. The Iranians turned out in better numbers than we probably muster here in America to exercise their democratic freedoms--to vote. And then their votes were thrown away.

The sitting government is run by extremists. Their policies are violent, tyrannical, selfish, and disinterested in the welfare of their people. I've spoken out before against Iran, and I made it clear that the problem rests with its leaders. It is now clear that the citizens of that country agree with me.



Thousands upon thousands of people are protesting in the streets. Why? Because they voted against the sitting government. They voted for change, just as we did (thanks to an overwhelmingly effective Obama campaign) several months ago. The difference? We got who we voted for.

This is an extremely important moment in the history of the Middle East. How all of this plays out will set big things in motion, for better or for worse.

Read this article. I don't have the facts or time to adequately describe what has happened this weekend, but it's vital that we all become aware.

A Post about YouTube

I subscribe to a blog that I rarely read [insert gasps of shock here] called Studio Daily. It's often much too technical to be of any real use to me, but some things occasionally slip through that I find fascinating and/or informative.

HERE'S ONE FOR YA:

24 HOURS of video added to YouTube every MINUTE.

I encourage you to read the post to which I linked.

Now, some thoughts.

First of all, I can't accept that more than fifteen seconds, on average, of that material is something ANYONE should or would want to watch. My coworker/friend/fellow film student and I were tossing out possible common tags for all of this bilge that gets saved somewhere in a warehouse full of harddrives.

First one - "cat sleeping"
[A YouTube search yields over 13 thousand results.]

Next - "ball rolling"
[Nearly 32 thousand results]

Here, my dear friends, is one of the top hits:



What does this mean? It means that at least 30 thousand people should probably be beaten to death.

On the Sunset Strip

I recently finished a TV show. No, I didn't finish making a TV show, I finished watching one. The title of this blog is only obscure enough to hide the identity of the show from those who have never heard of it, so here's the big reveal:

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

It was probably the smartest show I've ever watched. A friend recommended it to me--let me stop there and elaborate.

I take recommendations only occasionally. I, like everyone, have a busy life. I work and play and work and sometimes sleep. I don't like to waste my time reading bad books or watching mediocre (or bad) TV shows, or seeing tasteless films. People recommend stuff to me all the time. Often, I take those recommendations with a sincere grain of salt. I care that people love the things they see, but... Anyway. You get the point.

But I have a friend who consistently recommends good things. Movies and TV, specifically. She speaks, I listen. And so it was that in a totally unrelated conversation, she mentioned this show that was too smart and too inside to stay on the air. She was right. It was so smart it made my head spin. And so inside that I couldn't believe it stayed on the air for as long as it did (by "inside," I mean there were constant entertainment-industry references.)

AND (here's the real surprise) it was meaningful, and resonant, and heart-warming, and incredibly, unbelievably compassionate to both its characters and the audience. It took me about a week to burn through the only 22 episodes of this show there will ever be.

The show is liberal. It has to be--almost every shred of entertainment media these days is. But it was also superbly thoughtful. It represented the issues it tackled fairly, honestly, and thoroughly. There were NO straw men, which is, as I think about it, probably the most remarkable thing I've seen in anything remotely political for...well, I can't remember.

Oh hey, wanna know what the show's about? Short answer: It's 30 Rock, but an hour long, smarter, and more of a drama than a comedy. Don't know what 30 Rock is? Long(er) answer: A show about a show like SNL, but fictional. It's about the writers, producers, and actors in that show, with very little shown from the (fictional) show itself.

So there you go. I can't give a higher recommendation to a TV show. If you watch it, and it ends up being too esoteric, that's fine. You not liking it will in no way diminish my esteem for this incredible televised accomplishment.

Oh Yeah! That Terminator Movie

I realized with sudden horror today that I have completely neglected to post a post-watch review of Terminator Salvation.

Humph.

When a movie gets 25% on Rotten Tomatoes, I necessarily go into it with low expectations. It was hugely disappointing to discover, one week early, that the film was getting such bad reviews. My worst fears, it seemed, were actualizing themselves in the most anti-climactic way.

Still, finding out the film won't be much good before actually going to see it is better than the bitter agony I was sure to sustain without the warning.

Conclusion? Well...I guess it wasn't that bad.

Crap! What was the point? It was supposed to be GREAT. What does it matter if it wasn't "that bad," which, incidentally, is about the language this film evoked from the most positive of its many reviews. What a complete waste.

I gave McG a chance. Sure, the only memorable thing he had directed before this project was Charlie's Angels (and Full Throttle...yep), but give the guy a break, right? I mean, Hollywood is tough stuff. It's hard to get good material as a commercial director.

He even said this to Bale. [I paraphrase] "This is my big break. C'mon, let me prove myself, Christian. I can DO this! Trust me..."

Well, he did. And since Christian Bale trusted him, so did a gaggle of other talented actors and filmmakers. Jonathan Nolan wrote a script that could have been made to sing, I believe, in better hands. But it was in McG's talentless hands that it was given life. And so people say it was poorly written. It wasn't. Sure, the writing could have been better, but it could have been much, MUCH worse. (See: Wolverine)

So how do I know? You can know that a film was directed poorly when the following things are true: The cinematography was beautiful; the cast was enormously talented; the writing was good enough to keep the audience from laughing at the wrong places; there was no shortage of cash (never once you cross that magical $100M mark); the movie still sort of sucked.

The thing that was so wrong with this film was the same thing that was so incredibly, brilliantly right with Star Trek. Pacing. The highs, lows, and emotional tone of each scene need to fit together in a somewhat mystical way to make the whole machine of the film...work. In the new Trek film, the audience was never lost. The emotional and kinetic tone and speed of the film was pretty much perfect all the way through. It worked as the ideal thrill-ride.

But Terminator loses its audience over and over again. The emotional tone almost never seems quite right. Why is he yelling so loud right now? Why do they seem like they're not sure what's going on? Wait, she loves him?

Everything is arbitrary. One scene tacked on right after the other. By the end, I noticed something very tragic: I didn't care at all. That, my good friends, is the kiss of death for any film.

As for McG, I think I've got him pegged. He's the poor man's Michael Bay. As for the magnitude of that insult...well, you either get it or you don't, I suppose.

Anyway, if any of YOU saw it, let me know what you thought.

Dragged Up (Plus, a Blogging Plan)

Two short reviews:

1. Up was grand. The opening sequence was sheer, unmitigated brilliance, and the rest of it was warm, funny, entertaining, and memorable. Pixar is what every other multi-billion dollar production company should be: Endlessly talented, good-hearted, and shamelessly unsatisfied with anything less than greatness. Pixar will fill my children's shelves with great works of cinematic art.

Go see Up. It hasn't been, and still is not fair to think of this film as a "for kids" movie. You know the kind. Movies with talking animals and formulaic, predictable plots. Preachy, stupid movies that are immediately forgettable and probably make the kids to whom they speak dumber with each viewing. Up, in true Pixar form, is a movie "the whole family can enjoy." It's about an old man who attaches tens of thousands of balloons to his house and floats to South America. And it has a fat little boy trying to earn merit badges. There are, in short, no reasons not to see this film.

2. I went to see Drag Me to Hell last night. I'm not a horror movie kind of person. The genre is typically replete with the kind of pornographic violence and gratuitous sex that mature adults (one of which I hope to eventually become) should routinely and gleefully avoid. But then it was rated PG-13, which means that the sex and violence would necessarily be truncated at least to some degree, and then it got over 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. And it starred Alison Lohman (Matchstick Men, Big Fish, White Oleander), who I sort of love very much.

So I saw it. And it was silly. And stupid. And gross. And really, really fun. Of course, it helps to have a delightful, attractive girl clinging to you during the scary parts. But even if I hadn't been fortunate enough to be in that particular circumstance, I'm sure I would have had a good time.

ALRIGHT.

As far as this lil' blog goes, I think I've decided, finally, how I want this thing to run (this may not mean much--I have a bad habit of gross inconsistency when it comes to blogging, but...anyway).

There will be a new post every Monday and Friday for sure. Wednesdays will be up in the air. I may or may not post. But you can put money on Mondays and Fridays (please do not use actual money).

Also, I update Lasers, Bagels, and Other Abstractions fairly regularly, so check that one out when you get a chance. It's fun, I promise. I refuse to set a schedule for it, though, since I think that would fly in the face of its principles (yes, it has its own.)

Go, Mitt, Go

I still love Mitt Romney. I'm hoping to death that he runs for president again. That way, I'll have someone I can confidently vote for.

Watch this, it's good:

Israel, I'm still on your side

If you know all about the United States' relationship with Israel, and their role in the Middle East conflict, skip the next two paragraphs.

America and Israel are powerful allies. Both countries maintain a strong political and moral stance of freedom, tolerance, and power. Israel may best be thought of as the "America of the Middle East." They are the most powerful, most free, and most hated country in that part of the world. In fact, they are fast becoming one of the most hated countries (right behind America) in the entire world. It is now progressively acceptable to hate Jews again--at least, as long as they're from Israel. Why? Because when people scream loud enough and long enough, they can gain false legitimacy. So the nations surrounding Israel publish, uniformly, hateful lies about her, and eventually the rest of the world starts to believe them. So we think, somehow, someway, Israel must be doing something wrong. Else why all the sound and fury?

But America has been different. We've stood by them, rejecting the lies of their barbaric neighbors and helping Israel to protect herself from her enemies. Israel is a nation that is constantly, precariously close to total extinction. Not a few of their neighbors are openly in favor of violently disposing of every Jew in the Middle East. So Israel has had to maintain an incredibly powerful military to strike fear into the hearts of its blood-frenzied enemies. If not for that military force, we would no longer be speaking of Israel in the present tense.

I said America has been different. Unfortunately, the liberal party now runs the show, and they have been chafing under our support of Israel for quite some time. What do we say now?

First of all, Obama has finally gotten around to announcing that we will no longer be selling weapons and military equipment to Israel. How nice of us. Maybe now they'll learn to stop being so...defensive all the time. If there's one thing wrong with Israel it's that it has too many weapons. It makes terrorist organizations like Hezbollah so much less effective at killing Jews. Whatever we can do to change the dynamic a little... I mean, we don't want to be enablers, right? Put down your guns, you stupid Jews--er--Israelites! How is it that they still don't understand: the only reason Iran and Palestine and Egypt and Lebanon and Syria want to kill them is because the silly Jews keep trying to protect themselves from complete annihilation?

But it gets better.

The U.S. State Department demands that Israel limit Jewish growth in these areas of Jerusalem, “whose status remains to be determined” in negotiations.

Well. I don't even know where to start. First of all, what does "whose status remains to be determined" mean? Easy. That's softspeak for: "land we want to be able to give to your blood-thirsty neighbors sometime in the future."

Secondly, who is demanding this? I'm sorry, the U.S. State Department? What are we, their parents? Here's where Israel proves it's government is now, officially, much smarter than ours:

Israeli Government Press Director Daniel Seamen reacted to this Obama administration statement by saying: “I have to admire the residents of Iroquois territory for assuming that they have a right to determine where Jews should live in Jerusalem.”

This is what is happening. We are playing parent right now. We shouldn't be--we should be playing spouse to Israel, disciplining the manic, violent, unreasonable neighboring governments. But we're playing parent to all of them. Israel is the mature, sober, even-tempered child. Iran (representing all of the other children) is the spoiled, unmannered, sadistic nightmare child who throws tantrums often and quite effectively. Iran will not behave. When we try to settle an argument between Israel and the Arab nations, promises are made and Israel keeps them. Then Hezbollah sends more bombs. Rinse, repeat. What is our reaction? We default on getting Israel to make concessions. We've stopped expecting the other countries to follow through or agree to anything, so we demand that Israel do it all. Whatever the brat wants--give it to 'em. We can't handle this, Israel, just give us more of your land. Reduce your military. Stop breeding. Stop existing, for heaven's sake, can't you see how it angers the other children?

Israel will only stomach so much of this. It's almost certain that they've given up on us as allies. They'll survive by violence or be destroyed--all within the next handful of years--and we've earned a nice fat helping of blame.

I'm a little sick to my stomach right now, if you'll excuse me.

***It's been brought to my attention that I failed to provide sources at first publishing this post. I normally never pull quotes without citing the source (via hotlink), but this time I forgot before I published, and I want to formally apologize. However, I will not be citing the sources of all of my opinions, nor will I typically spend a lot of effort defending the things I believe. If anything in this or any other post on my blog offends you, I make no apology, though you are, of course and as always, free to ignore anything I say.